Tagged so 8 things about me eh?

1. Most of the time I feel like a perpetual loser . Still this does not mean that my life just sucks. I earn a lot of good things happening to me through what I do. Still I wish I could do better on some very important things to me in those respects I seem to be a constantly messing it up lol. I still don't know what to .
2. I get influenced by things at random when it comes to my art seeing different styles can cause some pretty odd changes to mine.
3. Because of the previous sometimes I pick style traits I hate by accident
4. I’m told that I have a lot of patience and that most of the time its very hard to nigh (heh nigh ) impossible to anger/piss me off (although I don’t see it that way I’m always angry over something )
5. I often over-think situations sometimes making me slow to act on some crucial decisions (I hate it cause a lot of the time even I get pissed off at it)
6. Honestly as of late I have been finding it very hard to concentrate on anything so much of my usual routine and what I find fun feels like I’m wasting time. The flipside is I have no idea what I should be doing otherwise…..
7. Before I stopped drawing a few years back my style was extremely violent and explicit (blood, guts and gore ) Now that I’m back at it (despite recent block) I’ve toned it down it abit but if feel my style is improving because of this (although I do a few random ones here and there )
8. I think my artist block is just symptom of something else though I really have yet to nail that down

Tagged by
Hey if you want to have a ball and enjoy yourself


Sorry everybody for being kinda of sporadic lately. I have been a bit busy so I have a had a bit of trouble keeping up with everything. I have been keeping up with art and all but comments have been a bit neglected. So if ya haven’t gotten a reply for something even pretty simple sorry and it should be forthcoming soon (current comments are at about 500+ and I know only 200 or so are journals lol). On other fronts I am working on something my artist block is still killing me but this on piece demands that I do it so much that it kinda surpassed my current problems. Still I tried other pieces and I find nothing there lol. Well this piece kinda has something do with how things are going made it just something I needed to get out and this might be the best way. Still its been slow going cause I feel like I’m fighting myself while I’m doing it lol. Well this update is pretty sad as I have nothing to show and no good news to bring but I figure do tag small update win win .


EDIT 10/26: Okay that took forever but i think i'm caught up so much stuff to see and read kinda overloaded for a bit well if i missed you or forgot to comment then please drop me a note.

I ripped a section out of this journal hoping it would make me feel better but really all it does is make remember that this part is missing. I feel like spike like i found a great place but it wasn't meant to be i'm forced back into the rest of my life and everything from that great time seems only a memory. I try to connect but i feel like I'm constantly messing it up no matter how much miss it all, miss them, miss her.... The more i dump stuff the worse it feels this is a real shitty deal. . . . lol (attempted laughter)

Well in ARTNEWS as this is what this is supposed to be about i got whole heap of work on the burner including a new version of Tats of his enraged state when he gets down to business . Also the armor from the teaser is almost finshed to im liking it so far it getting really detailed too. I also have so many sketches of a few random characters one or two i really like . Still alot i can't show cause i keep sketching her without realizing it lol till im done damn thats dumb. Also i actually have been practicing my coloring and its gotten much better i might truly have a real colored piece to show once i get the hang of these new photoshop techinques from all the tutuorials i've found (thanks DA ) Actually if ya want to go ahead a weigh in on which piece i should attempt to color first, even if its a sketch (i have done a good bit of line art sometimes i just didn't post it lol)

Ok everybody thanks for all the support i truly appreciate it all

Well new art comin up some expect some of the tech stuff this run probably least one today and these are actual new art i am or have been currently workin on some are large pieces so i might put a WIP but it will be a while before the lineart lol

Oh yeah i got tagged by

Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours....

Oh Joy lol let see 6 which isn't many but im have problems thinking one

1.I have a bad habit of hiding my real personality people tend to take me one way when they meet me. I say silent and so on but i can be kinda crazed and a bit one edge (ie scary lol) so its kinda the exact opposite. It gets me in all kinds of trouble (property damage broken noses, etc etc)
2.I can't seem to sleep i stay up all night drawing to get my mind of things and to relax but i usually can't sleep till at least 3am or so lol im such a loser
3.I have a favorite sword i keep above the side of my bed for two reasons it makes my room look good (i still have some childhood wallpaper on a section of two lol sword makes it look um adult ) And who knows ninja could attack at any time one must always be prepared
4.I made this page for one reason originally she still plagues and delights me to this day but im so glad i joined DA i have found some of the most amazing artists here (damn that sounded like a plug lol)
5.I hate rollercoasters (but i ride em ) but i love to fly kinda silly since both involve loops and rolls and so forth
Whoo 6 finally hmmm
6.My real name is weird but i like it, no im not gonna tell it least not yet so don't ask

Well done and done now to tag away you may do this a your leisure if ya wanna at all

Hmm my problems see to be coming at me rapid fire lately. Nothin really good to report as head is a complete mess trying to figure out what to do lately.

Well despite all this crap with work and school at least i have have my art and stuff. Which is funny cause as much as she messes up my head i really must thank her for giving it back to me.

Still so much work is coming right now i just haven't had a chance to scan it and some of it is a little to big for my poor little scanner so i have to work on another way of getting it in here lol. (hmm thinks of borrowing school scanner for a bit )

Well let me finish inking this one im on now maybe i'll put up some of the sketches i have have a character i based on her or maybe not....

Its seems like im losing it... This is a statement of fact not a guess lol. I get up everyday and try to make something of the existance i have since i let a good bit slip away. The past few years have been wastes of time i existed never furthering myself just making do. In life just making do does not cut it. In all this time i've finally found something i mean someone that makes it seem a bit more worth. Its not just about making a way for myself anymore. Its funny though cause same force that gives me a bit more purpose and focus is also tearing me apart. Every day i get up and go to work (not everyday lol) and i realize it primarily to see her. I hate this the fact that my job is crappy and it hurts her. If wasn't for her being their i would have moved to some other form of temporary employment while i get my life together.

Still i really think she is worth it. As much as she might not i guess thats not really for her to decide lol. I wanna talk to her but everything always gets in the way. I'm tired of being forced to speak to her. Tired of only hearing the hate and disdain in her voice for where we work. Enraged by only the weakness i see within masking any strength i have. Hating the fact that no matter how much i care she is the only person that makes me nervous that shatters the focus i have. I love the times she finds something she likes finds something that makes her happy at least abit. I'm gonna hafta do something cause this is not how im gonna leave it. Every decision i make seems like a mistake but then 6 years worth of self doubt can do that to ya lol. So i step toward her once again....heh that was kinda corny but i guess im in an corny mood

OOOOO ultra rant lol do not mind i just had to get some stuff out of my head at the moment thanks.

Hmm art update eh? lots of stuff done or being done i just haven't found time to scan it and some im not sure if i wanna put it up. Don't be surprised it two or three sketches and stuff start showing up at a time well back to the art, it calls me

holy crap is that nearly 4000 views you have got to be kidding me